It’s Christmas season—the time of year when we’re running around, buying gifts, and trying to figure out what will bring joy to the people we love most. But as my wife and I sat down to talk about our plans for this year, we found ourselves asking a question that shifted our perspective:

What are the moments from our childhood, our friendships, and our lives that have really stuck with us?

The truth hit us hard. It’s not the gift cards, the gadgets, or the gift baskets. Sure, those things were nice in the moment. But when we think about the memories that shaped us, the ones that make us smile years later, they weren’t about the stuff—they were about the time. The experiences. The moments where someone chose to show up, be intentional, and create something meaningful with us.

And that got us thinking: What if, this Christmas, we shifted our focus? What if the best gifts we could give weren’t the ones wrapped in shiny paper, but the ones built on shared experiences?

What Science Says About Experiences

It turns out this isn’t just a feel-good idea—it’s a fact. Science backs it up.

Dr. Thomas Gilovich from Cornell University has spent years studying happiness, and his research is clear: material things may bring us quick satisfaction, but it fades fast. Experiences, though? They stick with us. They shape us. They build stronger connections.

Here’s why:

1. Experiences Shape Our Identity: The moments we share with others become part of who we are. They don’t sit on a shelf or get stored in a closet—they live inside us.

2. Memories Grow Over Time: Unlike stuff that loses its shine, our appreciation for experiences actually deepens. Over time, even the small things—like laughing over a burnt batch of cookies—turn into stories we love to tell.

3. They Build Connection: Shared experiences bring people closer. They create bonds, inside jokes, and a sense of belonging that no store-bought gift can match.

A New Approach to Christmas

This year, my wife and I are rethinking how we give. We asked ourselves:

• What made our childhood Christmases special?

• How can we recreate those moments, not just for our kids, but for our friends and family too?

And here’s what we realized: The things that meant the most to us didn’t cost a lot of money. They took time, creativity, and intentionality. They were moments that invited connection.

So, instead of focusing just on what we’re giving, we’re focusing on how we’re giving. How can we pair a gift with an experience? How can we create moments that will outlive the wrapping paper and the receipts?

It doesn’t have to cost a lot. Honestly, the best memories rarely do.

Why It Matters

Dr. Gilovich put it perfectly: “Our experiences are a bigger part of ourselves than our material goods. You can really like your material stuff… but it still remains separate from you. In contrast, your experiences really are part of you.”

Think about it: experiences engage our senses, create emotions, and give us stories to share. Even the act of planning an experience together builds connection and gives us something to look forward to.

The Greatest Gift

This season, let’s remember the reason we celebrate Christmas in the first place. God didn’t send us a material gift; He sent Himself. Emmanuel—God with us. The gift of His presence changed everything.

If we’re made in His image, then maybe the greatest gift we can give is our presence.

So here’s the challenge: This Christmas, let’s focus on what truly counts. Let’s give gifts that bring people closer. Gifts that build memories. Gifts that reflect the love of Christ.

Because when the toys are outgrown, the gadgets are outdated, and the wrapping paper is long gone, it’s the moments we shared that will be remembered.

Let’s make it count.